Sunday, February 19, 2012

Kelley's Tavern (Downey)


The entire "bar." 

Like I always say, "Nothing says class like having a stop light inside your bar."

I wondered if I could have an Old Fashioned made for me here.  No such luck.  They don't carry bitters of any kind.  "Okay, whatcha got on tap?"  "Nothing," the dumb broad says.  Damn, this place sucks.  "Anything bottled," I wondered?  Or is the glass utilized as a weapon at this fine establishment?  Am I gonna be restricted to cans?  Anyway, their beer selection [and most of Downey's for that matter] is limited to Budweiser, Bud Light, Heineken, Newcastle, Shock Top, Guinness & overly-shitty and highly-overrated Stella Artois.  There were a few others that she mentioned but with each and every one she rambled off, my mind began to wander.  I settled for a Newcastle.  Good beer but nothing exciting.  Nothing new.  Been there, done that. 

I found it amusing when we were about done with our beers that the bartender took it upon herself to open 2 more beers for us...without asking.  Having already spent enough time in this hole (10 minutes), we were about to leave so I told her neither of us had ordered the drinks and neither of us intended on having them just because she opened them for us.  She said, she had asked ME if I wanted another round and that I nodded yes.  Are you kidding me!  When did this happen?  Where was I?  Talk about trying to push drinks on people!  I don't know what kinda tactics she typically resorts to but I wasn't having any of it.  Calling me "dear or sweetie," aint gonna do it, using your looks (only your ass really; you had the face of a horse) aint gonna do it, opening beers for me aint gonna do it and accusing me of having ordered them sure as hell ain't gonna do it - ever.  

 They have a pool table, but who the hell cares.  This place is certified trash.


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